Go Away!!!!

I have a problem in my life, well i don't see it as a problem but others do, so for the purpose of this blog we will call it a problem. I am easily annoyed. Back to the problem part, i don't see this as MY problem as much as the problem of those that annoyed me in the first place. You see this "problem" is not just aimed towards people... things annoy me to. o sit back and waste the next 10 minuets of your life reading about the list of people and things that annoy me and as far as I'm concerned should just go away!!

People:

Reality TV "Stars"! The top three shows that need to go away and stay away.

1. Jersey Shore

2. The Real Housewives of... (every freaking city in the US)

3. The Bachelor/Bachelorette

These are old, tired, and played out! I am sick of people asking me if I watch them! I inform them that if I wanted to be around or watch dumb people i would just go to Walmart. Needless to say you will NEVER find me watching these shows even if there is "nothing" else on!

Things:

1. Jeggings

2. The 1980's Clothes

3. Boys in skinny jeans

4. Tiny Dogs/ Carrying them in a tote-bag.

Jeggins- What were they thinking when they designed these and what in the hell are people thinking when they put them on! I mean come on, the only people that should be wearing these are 4 year old little girls! Please please please stop wearing these America! For the sake of my eyes!

1980'2 Clothes- OK everyone looks back in pictures from this time and thinks what in the hell was i thinking. so why in the world would the kids today think it is cool to look like they are in sixteen candles! Yikes, I die a little on the inside when i go in a store (F21 or H&M) and it is floor to ceiling 1980s. When I ask the store clerk if they have anything you know from this time period not only to i get a blank look but i also get a look like i am crazy for not wanting to wear bright teal, sparkly short dress. Um no thanks!

Boys in Skinny Jeans- OK so maybe this isn't a huge problem in Oklahoma but in Las Vegas it is an epidemic. I mean I cant walk out of my house and not see a boy in skinny jeans. Even in the 115 degree weather. I mean yikes. And its not just high schoolers! I would say one out of every 5 guys on campus is in skinny jeans. Then you go to the strip and they forgeries think it is OK to cut their skinny jeans and make them shorts. Umm no yours in America now and you need to follow our rules (there is a whole post to come on things you need to know when coming to Vegas).

Tiny Dogs/ Dogs in tote bags- OK not only is Paris Hilton old but so is this. I just want to run up and rescue these poor little dogs. And even more so when they have clothes on. I mean come on, have a kid or something let dogs be dogs! Most of the time I refrained from saying something is because Sandro or Bern pull me in the other direction and give me the "please don't embarrass me look". 50% of the time that works, but it leaves me feeling horrible for these dogs.

This list is short and all i could think of for now but if you can think of other things that should go away then feel free to comment and let me know!!

Vegas Family

So i thought it was only right for me to dedicate a post to my Las Vegas family. Moving out here I had no one, seriously, looking back i realize the how crazy it was for me to pick UNLV without ever having visiting the campus or the city. But i did choose here to i hopped on a plane with my mama and in Vegas we landed. I have never live back in Tulsa again. I could only have stayed because of my "Vegas family."

Bern- (Bernadette) My first love in Vegas. Met her seriously on day 1 while searching for food on campus and we have not be apart since. She has been my roomie and bestest for the last 3 years. If it were not for her our house would go to hell. Seriously, we tell people that i decorate and she cleans. I also cook and she cleans. But she bakes, AMAZINGLY! But any who, we are like the odd couple. She is a mixture of 2 equal parts. 1 part OCD and 1 part constant stressor. You see that is my meal ticket. I think she would have kicked me to the curb long ago if not for my awesome advice and ability to calm her down. and also my mom, she LOVES my mom. Then again my entire Las Vegas Family loves "mama Boyd" as they have dubbed her. Let me just give you a short list of the things Bern does for me; my laundry, not just the washing and drying but the folding and hanging. She remembers what i forget. Pays the bills. The one time she left me the cable went out cause i didn't know i had to pay the bill. She does my makeup for formal events (i do her hair). She cleans out the refrigerator when things start to smell funny. She buys me things before i realize I'm about to run out. Basically I couldn't function without her. So as you can see love Bern and the pure thought of having to live on my own and take care of my own house, scares me so much it keeps me up at night. SERIOUSLY I wonder if i could pay someone to do all the things she does for me, probably not.

and she goes out with me when i look like this!

Man Friend- Alessandro (Sandro)- So if you don't know what a man friend is let me tell you! a man friend is what you have when you are scared of the word "boyfriend" YIKES! A man friend is more fun and less serious. While Sandro will always be my man friend he has now worked his way up to the boyfriend status. Pause for reaction! But really, he is pretty freaking awesome! He is always surprising me and treats me amazingly. But don't go shining his halo, he is just a sarcastic and can hold his own. He likes for people to think that i am mean to him but don't feel sorry for him! He gives it right back... that might be what i like most about him! But what's even more is that my family loves him! But then again, my mom and dad are not like most parents of a young women. My dad is convinced that if i wasn't dating someone i was either being a bitch or i was gay. Either way have a boyfriend was the only way to silence him. Not to make is seem i only starting dating Sandro so my dad would know that i like boys. I really was not looking for a man friend when i met him but it just kinda happened. O and just in case you were wondering I was convinced early on that he was gay. He claims he didn't kiss me until date 100 because he was sick but let me tell you, everyone around me knew about this "gay" guy i was seeing. He just loves when i tell that story!! It's almost been a year and I couldn't be more happy!

Man Friend and I before we zipped!

Best Friend/Big Bro- (Adrian) He was the first boy i met when i came here but from the beginning we were like brother and sister. Although convincing my mom and dad that it was nothing more was a little harder. So you know my dads next logical step, HE must be gay. Adrian likes to tell people that just came in his dorm room and told him that he wasn't going to meet any new friends by keeping his door closed the first week of school. Now i know that doesn't sound like me so i know you wont believe his lies. Anyways, he went "greek" a year before me. I didn't understand it but because he was my best friend I was his date to many a SAE function. And if i thought convincing my mom and dad there was nothing going on, try convincing about 40 plus guys in their 20s that a guy and girl can hang out all the time and really nothing is going on. They didn't believe us, it only took about a year for them to realize we were telling the truth. Adrian is the person I turn to when I want the truth, we never lie to one another! It's awesome. So when I did cross over and go "greek" there was no one more i wanted to be my big bro! Adrian was the only one that would do because I don't know if he is really a big bro or a twin bro.

At a formal

Thought of the Day- why is laying in wait to scare someone so much fun??

ME- Painted by someone else!

This my friends is how much my co-worker loves me! I think she painted a pretty much true picture of me! Read it and find out for yourself!

http://lifeslap.tumblr.com/post/864329007/lifeslap-jackpot-jackie-edition


thought of the day- if your in the gutter, I'm in the sewer!!

Dumb Questions, Dumb Answers

So my whole life i have failed to understand that point of dumb questions. Even though I might talk fast I always think about what I am saying before I say it. So it still baffles me that some people don't do the same. Lets start with my trip to Starbucks that prompted this post...
I have always being nice and have been taught great manors, which my mom gave to me! Literally she gave me her manors and lost all hers. Example time...
lady- thank you and have a nice day
mom- un hun

un hun, not thanks, not you too, but un hun... RUDE

So anyways back to Starbucks. I am patiently waiting in line when i get to the front of the line. The girl behind the counter looks and me and say (I quote) "Are you ordering a drink?" Seriously, seriously. I could understand if i had some of their fruit cups in my hand or something but no, i waited in this long line, just so i could smell the aroma of your freshly brewed coffee... YES IM GETTING A DRINK!

The other thing that bugs me that clerks say all the time...
I put my items up on the belt, he or she scans all of them, then looks at me and says "is that all?" At which point it is all I can do not to bust out with " No, I have a DVD player, 3 shirts, a ring, and a case a pop. I was hoping you wouldn't notice and that i could sneak out but since you asked if that's all I guess I will fess up and put the rest of my items on the belt." Seriously, Seriously.

my last and final statement is what happens at customer service counters. Example...
me- waiting in line forever to return something or ask a question and finally get to the front!
person- can i help you with something?
Me- no i wait in this long ridiculous line just to say hi
Me- Hi


Thought of the Day- why is it "check yourself before your wreck yourself"? It should be " check yourself be I wreck you". Much better.

Your mom and dad

There are a few things you need to know about my mom and dad. 1. They are dorks 2. They try really hard to be cool 3. they are each others best friend and the rest... well it couldn't be summed up so here it is.

One thing you need to know are the phones calls i get from them. They are for 1 of 2 reasons. 1. Something computer or TV related is going on that i need to fix RIGHT NOW and 2. No reason at all. I don't know which one is worse.

Sample of Reason number 1-

Me- Hey mom

Mom- OK we have a problem

me- what is it

mom- the cable is off and the big bang theory is about to start. your dad and i are freaking out.

me- OK what does the screen say

mom- well its on that blue screen with the grey box, you know which one I'm talking about

me- No mom i cant see your TV so i don't know what the screen looks like

mom- just tell me what to do Jackie we've got 2 minuets

me- OK well press the white CABLE button at the top of the remote

mom- white cable button................ OK got it

me- now what channel is TBBT on

mom-6

me- OK press 6

mom- press 6.... OK done

mom and dad- give me cheer and tell me how smart i am, then quickly hang up sure to not miss the first moments of what is now their favorite show.

Reason number 2-

Me- Hey dad, whats up?

Dad- Nothing, just sitting here reading the paper, watch TV and arguing with your mom.

Me- Wow nothings changed

Dad (O shut up Karen) well what'd you expect.

Me- did you want something
dad- just wanted to see what you were doing

Classic!

the next thing you need to know about my mom and dad the insist on calling the dogs my brothers and sister.

As their children grew up and moved on with their life they replaced them with children, O wait mean DOGS. Every phone call is not complete until i hear the latest for the doggie world. Our house is now all for the dogs. take for instance one time on a trip home for LV. I get in my comfies and get ready for a veg night with my mom and dad. I take my place on the couch, knowing better than to take either one of their almost matching recliners that are posted up side by side right in front of the TV. I soon get up to get a drink and go the bathroom, when i return i realize my seat has been jacked and my parent could care-less. i am told i can either get another chair or sit on the floor, know that is absurd i squeeze my way on the couch and make the dogs work around me. the way it should people. photo proof that the dogs have taken over is below.

the next thing you should know is that when my parents are acting up they are no longer my parents, they become my sisters parents. let me give you an example.

mom does something embarrassing in the middle of a store

Betsy grabs my arm and instructs me to "get my mom"

this is just the last thing i am going to post but most certainly is not the complete list of things you should know about my parents.

so i recently got diagnosed with being allergic to gluten. Not fun, but it is amazing how what you put in your body really effects the way you feel. OK so that is not what you need to know about my parents but what you should know is, after my mom heard of my news and i explained what it was and what is did. She began to think she had it to, which is very possible because it is genetic. but the funny part of this is how her and my dad are now on this gluten free kick. Every phone call is included about the newest product they have tried or asking me questions about it. I love that they are in to it but my mother is actually attending a class at whole foods. I am actually thinking of seeing if my whole foods has a class just so i can take my phone and snap pictures. Maybe this isn't funny to most but to me and my sisters its great!!

I love my mom and dad, they seriously provide entertainment in my life and i would be lost without them. They have provided me a life most dream of and they have shown me what real love is and it is safe to say i would not be the person i am without them and their hysterics.

Thought of the day: why are sharks the only animals the receive a whole week dedicated to them on television.